Francois - Street Urchin

Backstory
Born the third child of a wealthy noble house (Dammartin), Francois was seen as a curse by his father as he caused the death of his mother during childbirth, sending Francois' father into a spiral of depression and alcoholism. Francois was the third child of what was previously a happy household, although he was an unexpected conception, coming 11 years after his nearest sibling. When Francois' father took his own life on the 6th anniversary of his wife's death, Francois' brother Stefan hastily married a beautiful but dark hearted woman who convinced Stefan that Francois was a threat to their future children's inheritance, so at the tender age of 6, Francois found himself homeless on the streets of Charouse.

Struggling to survive, he was taken in by a poor old man who lived within the tunnels under the city, a kind and selfless old man who looked after the others who shared their rough life on the streets. Francois was inspired by his attitude and when his new surrogate father passed away peacefully in his sleep a few years later, Francois took it upon himself to take up the mantle of guardian and provider for those who needed the assistance despite his youth.

Over the next two years, Francois became somewhat of a hero to the itinerant people of the city of Charouse, providing food and what little coin he can scrounge, as well as keeping l'Empereur's brute squads away from the larger population centers within the tunnels as best he can. His work has proven so successful that he has even had a small bounty placed upon his head by l'Empereur for crimes against the nobles of Montaigne.

What makes your character a hero?
Francois cannot abide the mistreatment of the weak and underpriviliged. He fights for the rights and equality of those who are unable to fight for themselves.

Who or what will oppose your character?
Francois (for the first Season at least) is in direct conflict with l'Empereur over opposed opinions for how the common people of Montaigne should be treated. He would be opposed by any within l'Empereur's court with a desire to maintain the status quo. Due to his habit of embarassing l'Empereur's guards with cunning thefts and feats of evading capture, he has a particular nemesis in one of the Captains of the Guard - Philip de Parse.

How will your character die?
Francois will be tragically betrayed in order to try and curry favor with l'Empereur or collect on his reward money.

There are a couple of issues here.

First, I'm interested in how you imagine a reckless takedown to work for your character.

Second, some details about just how he aquired his ressources and defeated the tireless patrols. Also, why were the patrols after them in the first place?

First question, try to bottom-line it a bit more. A lot of your answer should go in the backstory instead of here. Also, this part:

needs elaboration. What did he see? How? Petite Charouse is not exactly the part of town the high and mighty like to throw their parties, even if everyones favourite location between the orphanage and the sewer canal has markedly improved since the corpse collectors came through.

Last question, your answer is way too specific. The general idea is right, but you should keep it more broad and open. Also, the answer is not meant to assure consequences or plot happenings. Those should be the outcome of the individual situation. And additionally, if you lock your demise behind too many conditions, it is likely a villain will get to you before destiny can.

I agree, that is how I imagined reckless takedown to work as well. But bear in mind that you also take a dramatic wound in the process - so for some reason, everytime you do this, you get hurt. That's somewhat counter-intuitive.

I'm not going to forbid this, but your application of the advantage should always make sense. So it'd be quite limited on this character - perhaps consider just going with the criminal background to begin with. But if you want to keep it like this, that is also fine by me.

That's a good explanation why the guard is after you, and I am already thinking of more reasons than listed as a result!

As for the bad opinion: A bit of childhood trauma and a lot of hearsay. Good enough for me!

The new demise is very fitting.


The only thing missing is a slight overwork on "what makes him a hero". Move the elaborate parts to the backstory, and bottom-line it. It can be as simple as "Despite his young age and bad social standing, he never ceases to work for the betterment of those even less fortunate" or "Fighting for the common man / against corruption, no matter the odds", or anything along these lines.

Sorry. Yes I cleaned up the what makes you a hero answer.

I think that was all we were still discussing, right?